Why, Hello

From our earliest days and the childhood nursery rhyme "Where is Thumbkin?" we're taught the art of greeting. As the fingers of either hand meet each other, they exchange pleasantries, including the seemingly formal "how are you today, sir?" The other finger responds equally formally with "very well, and thank you" and then they run away.  I might blame some of my social awkwardness on this song. 

To this day, after a warm, initial greeting, I'm at a loss of what's to come next. I know the answer:  small talk. But I loathe small talk. I'm no good at small talk. And so, like Thumbkin, and Pointer, and Ring Man, I tend to deliver a reconnaissance-style greeting. I come in pretty big -- smile, hug, firm handshake. I exchange a greeting that usually begins with a very Southern "hey, there!" And then I gather my information and get out. 

The 1997 book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff was a best-seller as it provided tips and advice on "simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life." But the biggest gem of advice, of truth, was right there in the sub-title -- And it's all Small Stuff.

The same can be said of conversation. I sweat the small talk. The banter. I'll add that I dread it and avoid it whenever possible. But I know deep down that there, in the seemingly mundane and picayune chit chat, is where most of the important stuff happens.

So, I'll sign off today by saying, "I hope you're well."

The Geography of Small Talk from The Atlantic on Vimeo.

Charlotte:  Salutations.

Wilbur:  Salu-what?

Charlotte:  Salutations is my fancy way of saying hello.

From Charlotte's Web by E.B. White (1952)