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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Nose Knows



As I type, my eyes are watering and I have an awful taste in my mouth. All because some dude at work was heavy-handed with his cologne this morning. I never saw him up close. It was a 50-ish man. We were in pace with each other from the time we parked our cars in the garage, to walking into the building, and down a hall to the elevators. The whole way, I was deluged and engulfed in his scent. My temples began to twitch and I was light-headed from holding my breath for long gaps. I don't know if I rode on the same elevator he did or not, but the ride up was miserable. I feel like I smell like him now. My coffee tastes like him.

TLC offers some advice on perfume and cologne application:

1. Don't spray it right on your body. Rather, spray a mist above and in front of you slightly and then walk through it. 
2.  If it's a heavier scent, try applying it lower on your body (they suggest behind the knees) so that its effect is lessened as it wafts up to people's noses. 
3.  If, throughout the day, you yourself continue to smell your own scent, you may have over-applied.

In 2008, scientists discerned in a research study that wearing too much perfume can be a sign of depression. Apparently, when the mind is depressed, the sense of smell is suppressed. 

So much for stopping to smell the roses. 





Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Type-Oh!

I saw this sign the other day while out at lunch. "How did this happen," I wondered. Was the artist unsure and hedged his bet thinking, "well, at least one of 'em will be right." Or, perhaps he thought no one would notice. But I did. 

It reminded me of the Friends episode where Rachel has a typo on her resume. Don't remember this 19-year-old show? That's OK. I got you covered.



A 2013 poll conducted by Forbes reports these eye-opening statistics:


  • 73% of recruiters and hiring managers reported discarding CVs and resumes after seeing a spelling mistake
  • 58% of recruiters and hiring managers said they would likely hire a less-qualified candidate with no spelling or grammar errors over a more qualified person with an error on their resume
Most common grammar mistakes:
  • Irregardless
  • It's vs. Its
  • Your vs. You're
  • I vs. Me (He needs to call Jack and I.) *Ed. note:  I hear this one just about every day.
  • Than vs. Then

Now, regardless of what else you have going on, check and recheck your work. Then you'll know you're putting your best foot forward. And that's worth more than a million LOL's.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Marketable Skills

NOAA's GOES-East satellite captures a stunning view of the Americas on Earth Day, Tuesday, April 22.


I have spent a great deal of my adult life trying to figure out what I was put on this blue marble to do. To date, I am 95% positive I've not been successful in doing this.

I have a list of activities I enjoy but, sadly, there aren't many people willing to pay one to:

- watch TV
- shop
- nap
- mow grass
- complete small household repairs
- assemble furniture
- vacuum
- read
- polish silver
- wrap presents/gifts


There are activities I enjoy that one could argue could be translated into a career, but I haven't been able to put the pieces together:

- Writer:  I enjoy writing but I haven't been able to find a way to make a living doing so.

- Personal Shopper:  I'm great at giving advice, telling a friend what styles might look good for them, and finding bargains. But, again, haven't been able to make this a job.

- Editor:  Show me a book, magazine, church bulletin, or billboard and I will show you grammatical and typographical errors. I have a keen eye for mistakes.

- Party Planner:  Love throwing a good party but no one's paid me to throw theirs.

- Wife & Mother:  By far, my favorite job, but, as you all know, the benefits are great but the pay is terrible.

- Consultant:  I'm great at going into a business and quickly identifying (a) what is hindering their success and (b) initiatives (big and small) that they could take to improve their product, service, and efficiency.




My results said I should consider a career as a geologist, pharmacist, or police officer. I have always been intrigued by pharmacists. I like the idea of standing 6" above everyone else. ;)

If you, like me, are still trying to figure it all out, let me know I'm not alone. And, if you're one of the lucky ones, who believes you're doing what you were sent to do, let me know that, too.

Friday, April 25, 2014

What's Missing?


You've seen this, right? It's clever and makes you think for a minute and then it clicks.

I was behind someone yesterday who had this bumper sticker:


It's small. I was doing the best I could at a red light. It says:

Proud T.O. Be a Christian

Now, this may be a thing. I looked it up and couldn't find anything on it, if it is. But what struck me as I sat behind this car is "how proud are you? All I see is the "T.O." and you really need to be touching your car (which I almost was) to see the "Christian" part.

Whosoever therefore shall confess me before me, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before me, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 10:32-33

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Around the Bend

At work, I park in a parking garage. There are multiple levels and I like to park on the top one. The traffic direction is one-way and it's riddled with speed bumps. When I come to the last level, I've often wished we had those mirrors installed to help you see a wide angle. You know the ones:



If I could just see around the corner, I'd be able to determine if there was a space over there. I'd also know if someone was coming and, if not, I could dip around the wrong way and slide into a spot instead of following the rules and driving all the way around. If I could just see around the corner.

Isn't that true for life, as well? If we knew what was coming, we could take shortcuts and save time. Let me know if they ever install these mirrors for life, OK?

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Proverbs 19:21

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Slow Down, Gwyneth

Annoying, hipster doofus guys are referred to by the name of an internal cleaning product for females. A few examples of this character include:



If there's anything more annoying than these guys, it's their female counterparts. You know the ones. The ones who speak with a British accent although they're from Michigan and didn't set foot in the U.K. until they were 27. The one who will only use sparkling water...to brush their teeth and wash their hair. The one who had a talk show (and a production company, network, and magazine) who would share an annual list of "favorite/must-have items" and it always included a $400 bathrobe, without which one's life wouldn't be complete. 

Although I'm blessed and priveleged beyond measure and have never gone hungry or wondered where my child's next meal was coming from, I do consider myself down-to-Earth and despise ostentatiousness, pretention, and conspicuous displays of entitlement. Labels and brands mean nothing to me. I get excited when I find a good quality, leather purse at TJ Maxx for under $25.

But, like most people, I want two things for my child:  1, a better life than I had growing up (if that's possible), and 2, the very best of everything that I (and the world) can offer. Some of my best friends are the polar opposite of me when it comes to this sort of thing. But I accept that and actually appreciate the way they are programmed. What fun would it be if we were all the same? As long as they don't go sneaking in a British accent, I'm OK.


I took this little exercise a few years back and it was really helpful, especially from a relationship/marriage standpoint. Have you heard about the Five Love Languages? It's interesting and you can profile yourself, your spouse, or even your child. Here's an example: 

You're getting ready to go to bed and your spouse is going to do something for you to show how much you're loved. Would you prefer that he or she:

(a) whispered to you how much it means to them all of the ways you work around the house and how much everything you do is appreciated.
(b) had vacuumed the bedroom and put new sheets on the bed.
(c) set a small, velvet gift box on your pillow with something sparkly inside.
(d) said, "let's not watch TV tonight...I want to hear all about your day."
(e) Offered to give you a back rub.

It was interesting to me because I realized, personally, that my husband and I do not speak the same language exactly. This can cause woes if one of you does something seemingly nice and it goes - seemingly - unnoticed. 



Tuesday, April 22, 2014

WHWB (What Have We Become?)



A co-worker asked me to email a copy of a report I'd written. I complied, along with a brief note that went something like this (names have been changed to protect those involved): 


Good afternoon, Sally - Attached is a copy of the global warming report we discussed in this morning's weather meeting. It has multiple tabs, so the 1st one is a snapshot/overview and the other tabs each speak to one of the topics. Please let me know if you have any questions or need anything else. 
 -- Myrtle 

A few minutes later, I received an email back from Sally. Here's what it said, in its entirety: 


ty 

I stared at the screen for a minute. Yes, I knew she what she meant. She was thanking me for remembering to send her the report we discussed. She was thanking me for what has, sadly, become more and more rare -- doing what you say you're going to do. Perhaps, she was thanking me for sending her this report (even though I'd sent it before and she apparently forgot or misplaced it) without any judgment or snarkiness. But there it was. Two letters expressing her gratitude. 

I don't know why I couldn't just let it go, but I replied back to her with an equal response: 


yw 

And then it happened. The  of an alert notifying me of another email from Sally. 


np 

No problem, Sally said in her electronic shorthand. But there is a problem. A couple of decades ago, we, as a society, got too busy to actually write out "thanks" and we abbreviated it to "thx." Now, we're down to two letters -- ty. What's next? I'm afraid I know the answer. And it's no LOL matter.



Top 50 Most Popular Text Terms, from NetLingo.com

Editor's Note:  I never even realized a need for #24:  NIMBY. But I am making it a personal goal to use that one today.

Monday, April 21, 2014

The Real Deal

Along with 499 other people, I saw the book-to-movie Heaven is For Real this past Good Friday. It did my heart good to see the theater absolutely full, as though a new Harry Potter had been released. What a great start to the Easter weekend!

With no spoiler alerts here, I wanted to share what I thought was one of the most interesting parts of both the book and the movie.  In the story, a four-year-old boy tells of his visit to Heaven while he was in the hospital, very sick. He recounts meeting angels, Jesus, and previously-departed loved ones, some of whom he'd never met.

A parallel storyline is that across the country, another child, a young girl, has been having visions of Heaven and painting her visions since a very young age. She's young and wildly talented and her paintings and sketches are beautiful.

This four-year-old boy and the rest of us have grown up seeing Jesus depicted like this:



After his journey, though, he's adamant that this is not what Jesus looks like. Then he sees the work of this young girl, Akiane Kramarik, and declares, "that's Him!"


I lifted up my eyes and looked, and behold, a man clothed in linen, with a belt of fine gold from Uphaz around his waist. His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and the sound of his words like the sound of a multitude.
Daniel 10:5-6

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you, Jesus, or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine. 

I Can Only Imagine, by MercyMe

Thursday, April 17, 2014

What Do You Have to Show for Yourself?

I now have four decades under my belt. Forty years. It sounds and seems older than I feel (and, hopefully, look). So, taking a moment to be retrospective, I thought I'd take a quick account of where I've been so it will be easier to get where I'm going.


Things I Learned Between the….





Ages 0-10
  • Smells I like: Old Spice, cigar smoke, gasoline, tools/sawdust/workshop, puppy breath.
  • Foods I like: Cheerios, Fruit Loops, green beans, potatoes, cake, corn
  • Favorite Friends: Felicity V., Brittany V., Alison P., Tracy M., Lee S., Chuck S., Brian S., Beth S., Jenny L., Shannon P.
  • Drinking cold water while chewing gum makes the gum hard.
  • How to write in cursive.
  • Bullies are mean. And a little misunderstood.
  • Things that make me happy: watching TV, being with my Mommy and Daddy, dogs, playing games, camping
  • Things I don’t like doing: Going to the doctor, going to the dentist, going to hospitals, dealing with death and saying goodbye, doing homework, cleaning my room.
  • Places I visited: Florida, DisneyWorld, Gatlinburg, Los Angeles


Ages 11-20

  • Favorite Friends: Felicity V., Brittany V., Alison P., Lee S., Chuck S., Brian S., Beth S., Jennifer M., Jason M., Susan H., Beth W., Angie V., Laurie A., Becky K., Stephen D.
  • I care a lot how other people see me and what they think.
  • When I grow up, I want to be a writer. Maybe a journalist or reporter.
  • Fruit tea is kind of awesome.
  • The early bird gets the worm.
  • Etiquette is timeless.
  • Things that make me happy: watching TV, being with my friends, dogs
  • Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Light. And I want to follow Him.
  • Things I don’t like doing: Going to the doctor, going to the dentist, going to hospitals, dealing with death and saying goodbye, doing homework, cleaning my room
  • Places I visited: Virginia, New York, New Jersey, Washington, D.C.


Ages 21-30

  • Favorite Friends: Felicity V., Brittany V., Alison P., Jennifer M., Jason M., Jennifer C., Jennifer J., Kristen S., Andrea L., Ann E., Beth J., Brenda M.
  • I don’t care as much how other people see me and what they think of me.
  • I’m not sure what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I’ll find a job doing something I love.
  • Things that make me happy: being married, watching TV, being with my friends, dogs, travelling, holding my baby girl
  • Things I don’t like doing: Going to the doctor, going to the dentist, going to hospitals, dealing with death and saying goodbye, working late nights and weekends, cleaning the house
  • Places I visited: New Orleans, Pennsylvania, Jamaica, Mexico, Italy, Chicago

Ages 31-40

  • Favorite Friends: Felicity T., Brittany M., Alison S., Jennifer M., Jason M., Brenda M., Ginny A., Beth L., Lisa C., Elizabeth N. 
  • I have no idea what my professional purpose is on this earth. 
  • Marriage isn't easy. There are good days and bad days. There are good years and bad years. It takes work. Like a plant, you need to water it and give it time and talk to it. But it's worth it.
  • Things that make me happy: watching TV, spending time with my family & friends, dogs, being married, watching my baby girl grow up, camping
  • Things I don’t like doing: Going to the doctor, going to the dentist, going to hospitals, dealing with death and saying goodbye, having to do work at home, cleaning the house
  • Parenting is not easy. It's not all baby powder and playing catch and Legos. It's being responsible for someone to grow into a decent human being and making sure they're equipped for the road and inherent challenges ahead.
  • Places I visited: Texas, Africa, Bahamas
  • I don’t know what I don’t know. But I’m always learning. :)

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Today is my birthday


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Life's Rule Book

Adapted from Charles Bukowski's Top 10 List for Living a Kick-Ass Life (click on this sentence to view original list).

1.  Don't settle.
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
Ecclesiastes 9:10 

2.  Love yourself.
He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; he who cherishes understanding prospers.
Proverbs 19:8

3.  Live life to its fullest.
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16:11

4.  Don't fear pain. Without it, you can't experience happiness.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

5.  Be your own unique self and shamelessly express it in all you do.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
Romans 11:20

6.  You're stronger than you think.
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

7.  Don't fear death.
Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?
1 Corinthians 15:54-55

8.  Have confidence in yourself.
So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Hebrews 13:6

9.  There are much worse things than loneliness.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

10. Life happens. Don't always take it so seriously.
So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 8:15


Monday, April 14, 2014

Life 101

Here's a fun quiz that takes just a couple of minutes to take. Click anywhere in this sentence to go to the quiz. It tallies for you, out of 100 suggested life skills, how many you possess. I scored a 52.



You know, I pride myself on being fairly independent. If a toilet is running, I feel confident enough to yank the lid off and take a look inside. If something's loose, I grab a screwdriver and, post-haste, fix the initial issue and then walk around the house tightening everything within sight, just to be safe. I thank my sweet Daddy for teaching me how to use tools and letting me be his apprentice around the house. Every Daddy should do that for his daughter.

No, I don't know how to change the oil in my car and a financial expert, I am not. But I can sew a button on, repair a loose hem, and iron if I absolutely have to. I know how to fold fitted sheets (though most of the time I just wad them up into one of the pillow cases and consider it a victory if they get out of the laundry room floor and into the linen closet before being needed). I understand basic geography and transportation functions and I have a better-than-average handle on social convention, etiquette, and manners, the latter of which I can thank my mama for.

You hear of people being book smart but having no common sense. I think we should focus less on Common Core and spend a little time on common sense. Why add extra steps to solving a math problem? Instead, let's teach how to treat people with respect and kindness and common decency. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

Kicking the Bucket List



In five days, I will turn 40. There's something about birthdays, and especially milestone ones, that make you think. Think about things you've done and things you want to do and things you wished you'd not done. It's a great time to dust off that bucket list - or make one if you haven't yet - and then get to crossing things off.

For inspiration, you can check out bucketlist.org and bucketlist.net. Both provide countless ideas to get your brain working. When comparing others' lists to my own, mine seems boring and safe. That's OK. I have absolutely no desire to go bungee jumping, or ride in a hot air balloon, or climb Kilimanjaro. I'm a simple person with fairly simple wants -- I want to live a long, happy, healthy life (despite some less-than-ideal genetics I've witnessed my forefathers (and mothers) battle), enjoy the company of dear friends and family, grow old with my sunshine, and watch my baby girl grow into a wonderful baby woman who goes on to live a long, happy, healthy life. Pure and simple.

I've gotten to cross a lot of fun things off of my bucket list in these last three decades:




But I still have a few items left, so as I turn the corner and meet 4-0, I'll shake his hand and hand him this list:



Thursday, April 10, 2014

Well, I Declare

This happened:

The cover of the latest Rolling Stone features a naked Julia Louis-Dreyfus, star of the HBO comedy Veep, with a fake tattoo of the, well, it's not clear. It appears to be the U.S. Constitution, however, John Hancock's signature is featured on it and we all know Mr. Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence, not the Constitution. We do know that, right?




I think the bigger news story here is that Julia's 53-year-old head has been placed on a significantly younger person's body. Either the photo editor at the magazine got a little slap happy with PhotoShop or Julia's had a full-body transplant.

Don't get me wrong. I really like her. I'm a huge Seinfeld fan. Still. To this day, I make approximately one or two Seinfeld references per day. And I liked her well before her days with Jerry, George, and Kramer. Long before we knew the term "sponge-worthy," I enjoyed her on an "of little acclaim" TV series called Day by Day.

After Seinfeld, Julia turned in worthy performances in A Bug's Life, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and The New Adventures of Old Christine. Probably my favorite role of hers to date, though, is as the broken Eva in last year's rom-com Enough Said. She's her now-expected, self-deprecatingly-charming self, but holds her own next to James Gandolfini's genius last role. The movie ebbs and flows but it's worth catching it on cable. Those two make up for any lackluster writing or directing.

To recap:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a funny 53-year-old.
John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence.
Full body transplants (or head transplants) have not been invented yet.

Enough said.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Those Who Can't…Should Say 'Thank You'



Yesterday afternoon, while waiting for my child at school, I ran into one of her teachers. Not a classroom teacher, but one of whom we refer to as enrichment teachers. These teachers teach non-academic courses including music, art, computer science, physical education, science, and foreign language. I shared my sadness over the passing of a woman who actually taught me when I was in elementary school and who, up until a few months ago, continued to consult/assist at the school long after her retirement. All because she had a love of the game.

I shared with this teacher that none of my classmates, nor I, would remember this woman as a loving person, a cuddly instructor, someone to run to when you scraped your knee. But what we would all remember her for is her passion -- passion for her subject and for making those connections necessary in teaching someone. Seeing the light bulb go on. And passing on knowledge. What she lacked in bedside manner, she more than made up for in spirit. She made what could have been a dry, boring subject fun. And, ahead of her time, she broke down gender barriers and made her class and its content fun and approachable for both boys and girls.

As I was speaking, I noticed the teacher tearing up. I knew she considered the woman an ally, a mentor, and a friend. But it wasn't the loss of this person which brought tears to her eyes. Not completely. It was, as a teacher, hearing someone, a former student, wax nostalgic and appreciative of a teacher…even if it wasn't her. The real kicker? She's actually that kind of teacher for my child and this current generation. She makes learning fun. So I took the time to tell her that and she was touched and received some much-needed confirmation.

If you or your child has a teacher who's made a difference, don't wait for Teacher Appreciation Day or the end of the school year to let them know. Call, email, or send a written note and let them know, because they deserve to hear praise. Like a lot of professions, there are a lot of teachers, but a small handful are actually really great at what they do. So take the time to thank that teacher in your life for a job well done.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Goody One Shoe

You've heard of Mr. Goody Two Shoes. Don't be an over-achiever. Just be a regular achiever. Shoot to be a Goody One Shoe today. Do one nice thing for a stranger.

Here's a great video to give you some inspiration. It's an insurance commercial from Thailand. Beautiful but I don't think they subscribe to the standard 29-second commercial spots.


And if you still need some pointing in the right direction, here are a couple of ideas:

  • If you're driving through a drive-through for breakfast or lunch, offer to pay for the car behind you in line.
  • Tape a dollar bill to a vending machine at your office.
  • Take a plate of baked goods by your local police precinct or fire hall.
  • The next time you're leaving a store that has shopping carts, return one that's been left in the parking lot to the store, or wait for someone loading their car and offer to return theirs.
  • Let two cars out in front of you in traffic.

Monday, April 7, 2014

M-I-C...See Ya Real Soon

Mickey Rooney died yesterday at the age of 93. Many will remember him for his illustrious film career which spanned eight decades. Memorable roles included Andy Hardy in A Family Affair, Mi in National Velvet, and appearances on Milton Berle and Red Skelton. I will remember him for these two things:



1. His persistance. He made and lost millions of dollars, falling victim to the Hollywood trap of excess and fame. He made himself and became an award-winning actor, even though he didn't fit the Hollywood mold. And he kept up with the times. As of 2013, he was the only, living actor to have been in silent, black-and-white, and modern movies. He changed with the times and remained relevant. And, for that, I admire him.


2.  His performance as crusty security guard, Gus, in Night at the Museum. This is my favorite character of his and he filmed it at the age of 82. An age when some people are not alive and, if they are, they're relishing retirement. Good for him!

Favorite quote from Gus:          Keep a lid on it, butterscotch.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Worry Not

I was caught up in the proverbial rat race this morning.


  • Child's lunch packed? Check.
  • Pets have food and water? Check.
  • Is my child getting dressed? Check on that in a minute.
  • Am I dressed?
  • Do my shoes match?
  • Do we need coats today? Umbrellas?
  • What time is it? "Five minutes...we're walking out!"
  • "Why aren't you dressed yet? Come on!!!"
  • "Mommy, I need my special red shirt for school today?"

You've got to be kidding me, I think, although you and I both know that's not exactly what I was thinking.


  • Scramble to look for red shirt. Finally find it on the bottom of the dirty clothes pile (of course). Spray it with Febreze and toss in dryer for two minutes...good as new.
  • Fight traffic.
  • Pull into school on two wheels.
  • Exchange sentiments - "Have a good day." "No, you have a good day! :)"
  • Deliver three second pep talk - "Good luck on your test. You got this. You're gonna do fine. You're smart and funny and I love you. God created you special and there's no one just like you. Go get 'em!"


Child exits the car, I start my commute to work, and my day actually begins. It's rainy and been storming and traffic is miserable. I immediately begin running through multiple mental "to do" lists. I feel a weight bearing down on me. And then I see a wreck on the interstate.



Perspective. It could be worse. I just think I have problems. I don't know problems. Deep breath. Commence counting blessings.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34                          


Happy Friday. My three wishes for your weekend:
  1. You get something done that needs to be done.
  2. You do something fun.
  3. You get some rest.



Thursday, April 3, 2014

Would You Look at That

There's a lot of yucky stuff going on in the news so, if you, like myself, need a break from mudslides, earthquakes, shootings, and the like, hopefully this will provide a little respite.

I'm fortunate that I've crossed many items off my bucket list before my impending 40th bithday. One that remains is a tough one as no one I am related to or even know would enjoy doing this with me:

#6. Visit the Smithsonian National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C.




I visited D.C. when I was in 8th grade and would love to punch my 14-year-old self in the neck for not appreciating that trip more and for not realizing that it would be 26+ years before I had the opportunity to return. I chose to stay on the bus at the Lincoln Memorial to listen to a new group (Salt 'n Pepa) who, a classmate of mine convinced me, were going to be "huge." I could have stood on the very steps where Dr. King delivered his "I Have a Dream Speech," yet there I was, sitting on a bus, with a handful of fellow 8th graders, listening to "Push It."


"Youth is wasted on the young."
                                                         - George Bernard Shaw


Able, Rhesus Monkey, flew in first space capsule, 1959


While we visited Washington, D.C., we did visit one of the Smithsonian Museums, The National Air and Space Museum. I saw the Wright Brothers' Kitty Hawk and Able, the monkey who became the first space explorer. What I remember most about that particular visit is glancing at a classmate's notebook. We were to keep a journal throughout the trip, jotting down notes on each of our stops in a spiral notebook. Glancing over a classmate's shoulder as we waited on the bus outside of the museum, I noticed she had titled her entry "The Aaron Space Museum."

So, at some point, maybe all alone, I want to visit the Smithsonian's American History Museum. And here are a few pieces I'll be so excited to see:


Gettysburg Address Speech





Thomas Jefferson's Bible




















A piece of the actual Plymouth Rock












George Washington's uniform

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Why, Hello

From our earliest days and the childhood nursery rhyme "Where is Thumbkin?" we're taught the art of greeting. As the fingers of either hand meet each other, they exchange pleasantries, including the seemingly formal "how are you today, sir?" The other finger responds equally formally with "very well, and thank you" and then they run away.  I might blame some of my social awkwardness on this song. 


To this day, after a warm, initial greeting, I'm at a loss of what's to come next. I know the answer:  small talk. But I loathe small talk. I'm no good at small talk. And so, like Thumbkin, and Pointer, and Ring Man, I tend to deliver a reconnaissance-style greeting. I come in pretty big -- smile, hug, firm handshake. I exchange a greeting that usually begins with a very Southern "hey, there!" And then I gather my information and get out. 

The 1997 book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff was a best-seller as it provided tips and advice on "simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life." But the biggest gem of advice, of truth, was right there in the sub-title -- And it's all Small Stuff.

The same can be said of conversation. I sweat the small talk. The banter. I'll add that I dread it and avoid it whenever possible. But I know deep down that there, in the seemingly mundane and picayune chit chat, is where most of the important stuff happens.

So, I'll sign off today by saying, "I hope you're well."




Charlotte:  Salutations.
Wilbur:  Salu-what?
Charlotte:  Salutations is my fancy way of saying hello.
From Charlotte's Web by E.B. White (1952) 



Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I Pity the Fool

It's April Fool's Day. Here are my top 3 favorite pranks. Now go have a little fun today.

1. Tape on the phone. 

I have enjoyed this one for years. Sadly, at my current job, we're all fancy and our phones don't have the necessary button to make this work. If your phones look like this:



Simply put a small piece of tape across the button (see arrow) which connects/disconnects the receiver. The victim either goes to make a call or answer a call and it appears their phone is not ringing. It's especially funny to watch or overhear someone saying "hello?" and the phone keeps ringing.

2.  Cheesey OJ

The powder packet from this:

Mixed well with this:

Yields this:

3.  Fake doodie. Very realistic fake doodie.