Walk Like a Man

Let me preface everything else I say here with this statement:  I love boys. Always have. They smell like soap (on good days), and they kill bugs, and give great hugs, and move heavy stuff, and they're exponentially more rational and quieter than their female counterparts. But, they do a few things that annoy the snot out of me and this is what brings me to this post.


Annoying Boy Characteristics

Clipping nails in public

You know that distinctive, high-pitched "clink...clink" sound. How about I do some of my personal grooming at my desk? Bet I could get you to put those clippers down in five seconds flat.

Not holding doors for women

I was at school the other day and was saddened as I walked up the steps into the building. A couple of boys (age:  approximately 10) ran around me, pulled the door, ran in, and then the door slammed shut just as I got to it. I've never been a big fan of the feminist movement. I think we had a pretty good thing going. But regardless of where you fall on the issue, you have to admit this is just common courtesy. If you're a boy, never for one minute think you're going to insult a woman by holding the door for her. And mamas of boys, thank you in advance for raising the next generation to be chivalrous. 

Walking too closely behind a woman

I've said it before. It's a peeve. I like my space from all sides and at all times. But it flat out creeps me out when I'm alone (especially on a sidewalk or in a parking garage) and a man is walking behind me, at the same pace or faster. Back off.

Doing the sniff/snort/sinus cavity clearing thing in public

They do it in meetings. They do it walking down the hall. They do it in restaurants and theatres! It's become second nature and I'm guessing they don't even know they're doing it. If your husband does this, point it out to him so he's aware. This is one of the many invaluable services I provide to my guy. 

You're welcome.

Don't just pee in, but on, behind, around, and even sometimes under (!) toilet

Some days, I fantasize about having a urinal in my home. There are no small dreams. Just small dreamers.

Shake a woman's hand limply

When a man shakes my hand and it's not a firm shake, I think one of two things:

1. You're not a good shaker, which immediately draws connotations of lack of confidence, weak character, and other undesirable traits.

2. Or, I wonder, have you adjusted the intensity of your shake because I'm a lady? Weaker shake for the weaker sex? Well, that's just offensive. Now, I don't want you hurting my shoulder with your shake, but go on and grab it and give it a good 1-2 motion.

Editor's Note:  To be fair, stay tuned for a post soon about annoying things we ladies do. You know what I'm talking about.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
                                                                                                                Proverbs 22:6