Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Answering the Tough Questions

Take marriage. My child asked me out of the blue last night "why do people get divorced?" A list of reasons began rolling through my mind:  adultery, differences of opinion, incompatibility, they fell out of love, they were never in love to start with, bad case of "greener grass" syndrome. 

But what I answered, and what I really believe, is this:  "I don't know why some people get divorced. There are a few couples who just shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. That's why it's important to make extra sure you're marrying the person God has chosen for you and don't rush into what's one of the biggest decisions of your life before really considering 'can I share my life with this person...forever?'"

Then I went on to explain that marriage is hard work. It's like a plant. If you water it and talk to it and sometimes push those little vitamin sticks down in the soil, then chances are it will thrive. If you ignore it and are lazy and don't care for it, it won't. Sometimes it needs a bigger pot. Sometimes it needs a different vantage point -- some shade, or some sun, or maybe a new window.

I don't judge someone who is divorced. First of all, who am I to judge? Secondly, until I've walked a mile (or 20) in your shoes, how would I know? Next, I can't imagine it's ever an easy decision, so I don't envy you or scorn you. Finally, regardless of the reasoning behind it, I know the heartache that has to be involved and the endless complexity, especially when children are involved.