10 Years in 10 Minutes

Sunday, August 10, marks the 10-year anniversary of my Mom’s passing. 

After a full decade of being motherless, I can tell you the things I’ve missed:

•          Her dimpled smile
•         The unconditional love that that only your mother can bestow upon you
•         The little things she did to show she cared
•         The little things she did that drove me absolutely bonkers
•         Her advice

And I can tell you some of the things she missed:

• The May 2010 flood, dubbed a “100 Year Flood,” here in Nashville
• Devastating earthquakes in Haiti and Chile and Hurricane Katrina here at home
•  The deaths of ¾ of The Golden Girls, Christopher Reeve, Ronald Reagan, Estee Lauder, Ray Charles, Pope John Paul II, Johnny Carson, Rosa Parks, Peter Jennings, Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, Paul Newman, Walter Cronkite, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Osama Bin Laden, Elizabeth Taylor, Neil Armstrong, Dick Clark, Andy Griffith, Whitney Houston, Nelson Mandela, and James Gandolfini, just to name a few
• Michael Phelps and his crazy flipper feet, 10 Super Bowls, 10 World Cups, 10 NCAA Basketball Championships, 10 U.S. Opens, and 10 World Series
•  20 first-graders and 12 movie patrons dying in shooting sprees in Newton, Conn., and Aurora, Colo., respectively
• Cancer surpassing heart disease as the #1 cause of death of people under 85 years old in the U.S.
• George Bush’s second term
• The Twilight books and having to choose “Team Jacob” or “Team Edward”
• Another royal wedding in the U.K. and another royal birth
• The election of an African-American President of the United States
• The minimum wage in the U.S. rising from $5.15/hour to $7.25/hour
• Cost of a first class postage stamp rising from  37-cents to 49-cents
• Mash-ups, selfies, Paris Hilton/Kardashians/countless other non-celebrities, complete turnover in the late-night talk show circuit, and Weinergate.
• Her husband’s retirement
• Her child’s thirties
• The birth and first ten years of her granddaughter’s life

It’s not always been easy continuing to grow up and, now, raise a child of my own, without a Mom. I’m fortunate that I have solid TV show examples -- June Cleaver taught me to look my best, even when I’m vacuuming, and Carol Brady taught me to smile, even when the going gets tough, and, when all else fails to say, “oh, Mike.” 

I’m blessed to have a wonderful Daddy who has filled his new role as grandfather (or PieDaddy to my Baby Girl) beyond my wildest expectations. 

My baby is neither a Daddy’s Girl nor a Mama’s girl. She’s our girl. My husband equally bears both the burdens and the delights of parenting and always has. He’s been not just my life partner but my partner in life. 

And I can’t forget his parents, my in-laws. I’ve always thought of them as extended family but they got pulled in a little closer these last 10 years. I can always count on my mother-in-law for solid advice and sage wisdom.  

The last thing I’ll share is this…although I know Mom’s spirit resides in Heaven, I feel her presence with me every day. When I get in the car or walk through the kitchen and her favorite song (albeit quite annoying) – Cat Stevens’ Morning Has Broken – is on, I know she’s near. When I feel sad or scared or angry and feel a weightless hand on my shoulder and a sudden levity, I know she’s by my side. Mostly, now that I am one, I know, as a mother, that nothing – no man, not powers on this earth or beyond, or even death itself, would make me stop loving my child or come between us. I would find a way and I smile knowing she has, whether it’s a random blue bird chirping a morning solo, a grating song from the 70s on the radio, or just a sense that it’s all gonna be OK. 

And sometimes, it’s just a reflection in a dimpled smile.