An Open Letter to Naked Girls

An open letter to Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, and countless other victims (current and future­) who are targets of hackers who break into personal computers, steal nude photos, then leak them to the public:

You know one way to keep indelicate pictures of yourself from being hacked and leaked on the internet for all to see? Get ready….don’t take indelicate pictures of yourself in the first place. Sounds simple, right?

Yes, I understand, you’re young and fabulous and you might understand that despite your stellar genetics and extreme medical interventions, that your body will age and you want to remember what it once looked like. I get it. I’m guilty of standing in front of the mirror, squeezing, lifting, squinting, and manipulating body parts to remember what they once looked like. But never have I thought, “oh, I’m going to go pull out those pictures I took 20 years ago.”

First off, it’s tacky. But a better reason is this:  you can’t turn back time. You shouldn’t spend any of the precious time you have looking in the rear-view mirror. Best case, you miss something really cool up ahead. Worst case? You make a mess of the present and future by dwelling on the past.

So, whether it was a publicity stunt or a true invasion of privacy, let this be a lesson to all the young fools out there who think “it won’t happen to me.” In a world where one constantly has to choose between dumb and smart decisions, I tell you, two dummies does not a smarty make.