My favorite curse word is "ass." That is the first and last time I will say it here and will have to be creative (btw, "a$$" is not creative) for the rest of this post. If you know me, you know I don't have a potty mouth. First, I was raised better than that. Secondly, I'm a good Southern, Baptist girl...for the most part. Lastly, an inordinate amount of swearing just shows a certain lack of creativity. It takes more effort to come up with a flourish and litany of big words to get your point across.
The reason it's my favorite is simple. It's so versatile. Here's just a partial argument:
- a**hole
- a**wipe
- jacka**
- you're being an a**
- smells like a**
- tastes like a**
- a** cold (as in, "today was nice but this weekend, it's going to be a** cold again.")
- cold as a** (cousin to the one above)
- half a** (something not done as well as it could be)
- quarter a** (even worse than "half a**")
- piece of a**
- a** clown
- tear a** (to take off at an accelerated speed)
- a**ish (an adjective)
- a**y (another adjective)
- y'a** (Southern deriviative - similar to "y'all")
- get some a**
- big/fat a**
- a** crack (what it sounds like, part of anatomy or, one of my favorites, slap "of dawn" at end and it becomes a denotation of time)
- got an a** (the nasty step-sister to "baby got back")
- sh**'s a** (a double dirty -- this one's borrowed from a friend of mine who has yet been able to explain this one's true meaning or proper usage)
- what crawled up his/her a**
- he/she has a thumb up his/her a**
- kiss a** (verb or noun)
I came up with this list in about 30 seconds. I'm sure there are many more out there. But to go on would make me, well, you know.
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